F@H Dads
This is a chapter from Pastor Mark’s new book, Faith@Home Dads which will be released March 1, 2010 through Gospel Light Publishing.
So you’re a new dad or you’re going to become a new dad. Congratulations!
I remember when I became a dad. We were in a birthing room of a hospital in Minnesota. I had come prepared. I had a boom box (before I-pods) with lots of music, playing cards, video camera, regular camera, snacks, bottled water, diet Coke, and many things intended to serve as my wife’s focal point. I was ready! It was October 30, 1995. About 10:30 p.m., the pushing began. I was by my wife’s side every minute. Unfortunately, at 11:50, I made the big mistake of saying, “Honey push hard. We don’t want to have a baby born on Halloween.” My wife gave me “The Look,” which said, “Shut up unless you want to get down here and do this yourself!”
I learned an important lesson in that moment: Never give your wife advice while she’s in the last stages of labor.
At 12:13 a.m., October 31, Malyn Mae Holmen was born. Yes, we had a Halloween baby, and we nicknamed her, Boo Boo. We have loved having birthday parties on October 31, so my fears of having a Halloween baby were unfounded.
When Malyn was born, the nurses instantly took her to the other side of the room to check her over. There I was, standing between my wife and my newborn. On one side, my wife was moaning in pain. On the other side, my daughter was screaming. I didn’t know which way to go. I had been a dad for only seconds and I already needed help. Thankfully I heard the voice of the Lord, which sounded a lot like my wife’s voice, say, “Go make sure Malyn is okay.”
If you’re feeling even a little overwhelmed or concerned about being a dad, I understand. I’m not going to make you admit publicly that you have no clue or that you are scared to death about parenting a baby who will become a child, and then a teenager, and eventually a young adult who may never move out of your house. However, I am going to be very direct with you. When my dad had something serious to talk about, he would say, “Mark, let’s talk man to man for a minute.” In this booklet I intend to talk man to man with you. No holding punches. No wives around. Simply being ruthlessly honest about the most important thing you will do with your life in the days, weeks, months, and years ahead.
Who am I to offer you any advice? No one. How’s that for a selling point? In many ways I feel like Paul when he wrote in Ephesians 3:7-8: “I became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace given me through the working of his power. Although I am less than the least of all God’s people, this grace was given me.”
It is only by the grace of God that I am a husband, father, pastor, and author. I am simply a dad just like you. I have had the opportunity to serve in four congregations over the last twenty years working with thousands of parents and children. I’ve had the opportunity to see good dads and bad dads. I’ve seen dads that have set the bar so high that I can only wish to be the type of dad they are. I have seen dads who have set the bar so low that I already looked like a world champion parent before my daughter was even born.
In this booklet are some key things to consider that will help you become the type of dad God intends you to be. You may not agree with everything I say, and that is okay. I simply want you to begin wrestling with some of these things so you won’t one day look back at your life and say, “I wish someone would have told me.” Throughout each chapter you will find some “Let’s Talk Man To Man” questions which I’ve written to challenge you and they could also be good discussion questions if you choose to go through this booklet with some other dads. The Bible, and especially Deuteronomy 6, will serve as the foundation for each chapter as Deuteronomy 6 speaks specifically to parents, to dads. All I’m asking is for you to be open and willing to let God shape you into the great dad you can become.
Mark’s F@H Dads blog
Mark will share insights for Dads, please feel free to ask questions or add comments.
Pastor Mark to Keynote at Family of Faith Network ConferenceThe Family of Faith Network Conference is designed for church leaders, specifically ministers and lay leaders who are responsible for strengthening families and reaching out to the family through the local church. Individuals and couples wanting to strengthen faith development in their families are also encouraged to attend.
Faith@Home Parent Coaching Registration is Open
Notes From Parents Coaching TrialWell our Free Trial went very well. Tim gave us some insight into what a Faith at Home Coaching Session will be. He shared his "PeanutButter" and Sticky Faith.
Extreme Family Makeover Maple RidgePastor Mark Starts his visit in Canada Tomorrow!!
Free Parents Coaching Webinar TomorrowSign up Today!! Space is limited and you could win a free set of the new Faith Begins At Home books by Mark and Maria Holmen!
